Xander Reed Lowe

7/26/10~Hey Peanut...8 months have come and gone since you left us. More than ever I wish you were  here to cuddle with mommy like you used to my sweetie. Every night you would always climb up into my lap for me to hold you or nurse you to sleep...how mommy longs to have those times again...to never hold you again hurts me so very much that my arms ache. Mommy and Daddy struggle every day missing you and trying to make sense out of why CF took you so soon or even will always question whether we could have done something more (although we *know* there wasn't) does not mean that we won't always wonder. Your brother Hunter and sister Dakota miss you too. Hunter said on your birthday he will eat a piece of cake for you and we will all send you a balloon so you know you will never be forgotten!

Love forever,

Mommy

7/14/2010~ Baby..today you would be 22 months old if you were still with us here on Earth. Oh, how we still miss you and will always! Your big brother Hunter just turned five recently, but I find myself wondering what you would be like if you my darling were still here? Ornery I am sure of that, so sweet because you always were here or would you be reaching those "terrible twos?" Oh how daddy and mommy wish we could have those times with you but know my sweet Xander that you are never ever far from my thoughts and never out of my heart!

Mommy loves you sweetheart!

6/26/10~7 long months my baby since you left this world for the best in heaven. Mommy talked with a doctor last night about you sweetheart. He took the time to read your last report...and try to make sense of why things happened your last day on Earth. Even he is dumbfounded that you left except that your CF was REALLY bad and it was your time to join Jesus and live in paradise. We miss you always. Life I do not think will ever be the same without you. Your big brother and sister miss you very much. Often they ask when you can come home again...sadly I have to tell them that the next time we will see you is when we go to heaven too...

Forever missing you,

Mommy

My darling...I miss you sweetheart...this Mother's day will not be the same without you. Only by the pure grace of God will mommy even feel like getting out of bed each day. It's God's grace that is helping me through this. I feel like I am in limbo between trying to go on and wanting time to rewind and go back to save you that day. I know I can't save you baby doll. I would if I could...I know your brother and sister miss you like crazy. Hunter was crying for you the other day. I hope you will always watch over them...they love you lots...we all do!

I love you!

Mommy

4/26/10~ It's a cold rain today just like the day you left this Earth - 5 months ago today although it seems like yesterday...oh how we all miss you!  Fly free angel baby!

We all love you!